Resolutions.

[sisyphus]

Title: Resolutions.
Warnings: Vulgar mouths.
Word Count: 2455
Characters: Alan, Sarah, Nigel, Jaden.
Notes: This moment had to come. Jaden can't always been seen as a guy. And we all knew Sarah and Alan would be friends at some point.

Summary: Cast your votes and hold your breath--there's only ten moments until the reset. So find what you want and hold yourself steady. There's no guarantees in this world--so make what you want your own.

A party was the last thing he had wanted to go to, but a case was a case was a case, in... any case, and maybe the fact of puns should really tip him off to his own mental state.

They arrived in a foursome, unhappy and hating each other. Jaden Keaton, being paid to be there, dressed in a subtle display of silk suit-wearing-- Nigel Kane, being forced to provide backup, showing just how well Cynthia could dress her baby brother-- Alan Kane, refusing to stay at home and dressed in a hasty attempt at class-- And Sarah Gear. Surprisingly in a full ballgown, and the only one crowing happily at the situation.

See. Sarah had the tickets. And thought it was funny when Nigel thanked her politely for her assistance, since of course she was coming with. That argument was mildly pleasing to the eyes. Pleasing until Alan remembered he was going with as well, and no, he didn't have a choice, because like hell he was leaving someone alone--or alone and with the other two as company.

So how it ended up was Jaden and Nigel played nice to go investigate the target, and Alan glared at them talking across the room. Sarah flowed up to him, passing over a crystal glass. He drank it without thinking, angrily, then sputtered.

"I spiked the punch," Sarah chirped pleasantly. "Thought you needed it."

Alan angled his head to glare at her as she smiled back, but just as quickly his gaze snapped back to the dark-haired pair, and more to the point, to Nigel's hand on Jaden's arm as Nigel led the other to a different spot in the room. Sarah followed Alan's dark look and shifted her expression to sympathetic humor. "You really think Nigel has the hots for his boss?"

It was close enough to his actual thoughts for Alan to turn sharply, blink widely at her. He thought to quip something back, deny it and change the subject, but something in him deflated. "...Sometimes it seems that way."

Sarah thought to pat him, then thought better of it. "Well, it's probably unlikely. Probably. I've never seen Nigel show any interest in anyone."

Alan returned to staring at the pair. A muscle twitched in his cheek. "He's never shown any interest in any female." At Sarah's parties or anywhere else. It was very clear that Nigel at least had standards when it came to human women.

"Yeah, that's what..." Sarah trailed off, then followed his gaze again. A beat passed, then her eyes opened wide and the girl burst out laughing.

Now, Alan snarled, glaring in full at the attention being caused. Nigel glanced across the room to Alan and Sarah and made a face--a subtle twist of his lips really, but that was enough--and dismissively turned back to his conversation. Enough of this. Alan whipped around to stalk off somewhere else, but Sarah had gotten over her laughing fit and jogged to catch up, gasping for air. She reached a hand for him. "Wait--"

He twisted out of her grip and lifted an arm in defense. She stared at it until he dropped it back down. "...Don't touch me," he muttered.

"Like two fucking peas in a pod, you know that?" Sarah snapped back, in a tone between amusement and annoyance. "You think he really wants to be touched by any one, especially people he's not close with? You think he likes Jaden just because he hasn't shown interest in any women?" She tapped a finger to her temple, hard. "Newflash, princess: That dude is a chick!"

Wait, that-- "Jaden's not a girl." Alan was... mildly sure of that. There had even been a brief attraction on his part, and Alan had never been attracted to--

"Female," Sarah drawled loudly, calling forth a couple gazes. "Boobs. Vagina. Clitor--"

Alan grabbed her arm and hissed in her face. "...Stop. Talking."

Sarah laughed quietly, unfazed by being in Alan's grip. For his part, Alan seemed to notice, and dropped her arm quickly. Sarah brushed off her dress, then peered up at the other. "You really don't believe me?"

Alan stared at her sullenly, contemplating just that. Sarah Gear, he had learned, was likely the foremost of those whose bad side you did not want to be on. The gigantic list of names she could rattle off at a moment's notice of those who owed her favors said to never ask for help... Yet, Nigel did, with only brief hesitation. The speed of which she procured four tickets and a limo was nearly frightening, as was the nervous fear on the person's face who dropped all of it off. Information was obviously the woman's specialty, and honestly, even with all of that--

Alan sighed, pushing a hand up through his hair. "...You have no reason to lie."

Sarah frowned a little at that. "Of course I don't. I've never been anything but truthful to you, Alan Kane."

His mouth thinned further. "Your party."

"Which-- Oh, that." She waved a hand as if the point was petty. "I was trying to find out information and I fessed up to it right quick. And anyway--" That swung the whole conversation back to the start, and Alan suddenly regretted-- "You've always been obvious in how much you care for him."

Alan had expected the sentence, known it was coming, but he had thought she would say, how much you like him. How Sarah phrased things was always intentional, and he paused at her usage. Watched her again. When she tilted her head, he saw no mocking in the space behind her eyes.

Ah. So she knew. Exactly how much Alan loved him. He supposed there were worse people to find out.

His shoulders loosened from their tense position and he pressed two fingers under an eye. His headache had started nearly before they had gotten here, when Jaden showed up at their house dressed to kill without any effort. Nigel had made a mention of the detective pulling off the look flawlessly, and while not a full compliment, there was no teasing behind it, and Alan, who had thought to stay home suddenly--

"I'm going with. Wait a damn second more."

Nigel had shrugged to Jaden as Alan stormed for the bathroom, cursing himself in his head all the while. In the end, what would this even do--

"Sorry for being obvious," Alan muttered to Sarah, eyes trailing downward. A confession in everything but the reality.

She hipchecked him with no regard. Alan fought to keep his balance and keep from hitting her all at once. "Oy. I never said there was anything wrong with it."

He peered up at her, eyes narrowed in suspicion. The point was obvious. Sarah sighed. "Yeah, so you're blood-related. Do you know how much worse some people are into? I run fou-- No, wait." She counted on her hand. "Fifty-three pron sites now, each to a different kink of the hour, and you think your little digression is bad enough to count. Hell if I'm going to tell your innocent little mind what people like to do in the dark."

On the tip of his tongue, it wavered. The thought to tell her what really happened in the moonlight hour. The monsters that came to play in the shadows. Instead he swallowed. The motion came more difficult than he would have thought. "...I don't think he--"

"Would be into that? Here's a thought, Mr. Kane. Why don't you ask him?"

The tiny girl in front of him, five-foot-nothing and still wearing faded purple in her hair, placed her hands on her hips and stared at him as if waiting for him to understand. Alan was suddenly at a loss. "Why do you care so much?"

There was an expression, difficult and far too complex to read, that passed over her face before he could think to analyze it. She smiled, and it was slight, small. Different from her usual fare. "He likes you," Sarah said. "And no, I don't know exactly what that like is, we're not that kind of friends, but he likes you. And he hasn't liked anyone for a long time." Since I've known him, is the unsaid, but both understand. "You care about him, and you're good for him. And maybe he's good for you, too?"

Maybe he was exactly what Alan was missing.

"Nigel has been my only friend, Alan," Sarah continued, and her voice was calmer, had lost its energetic pitch. "I'm not a good friend, or a very caring one. But Nigel is my friend. We both are people who miss things. Miss them so hard that it's easier to speak sharply, move in cruel ways. We're people who can't forget, Alan," the girl said, and her eyes seemed a brighter amber under the light. "And that makes it all the worse."

He wondered suddenly. For the first time. Where Sarah had been before she had lived in this town.

As if she had said too much, Sarah looked away suddenly. "So maybe talk to him, you know? It's not like he's gonna run screaming from you, right?"

He might, Alan thought, but that suddenly wasn't the point. He knocked his body slightly into the girl, and she flailed for a moment before regaining her balance and glaring good-naturedly. Alan watched her from his higher vantage. "Nigel's your only friend?"

She snorted and shifted her weight as the epitome of class. "Unless you're volunteering, princess. I don't have people lining up to hang for me for reasons other than my connections."

Alan Kane smiled once, as slight as hers had been. A moment and then it disappeared. "Maybe we'll have to start watching movies more often, then. I find myself in desperate need for your poor taste to balance out my moral fiber."

Sarah gaped for a moment, then slapped him on the shoulder. "Moral nothing, you ass! That's why you don't have a girlfriend. You were probably forced into liking cock from the lack of--"

"Sarah Gear, that mouth is unbecoming on a lady of your caliber."

Alan froze as Sarah pouted at a direction behind his back. If he turned, it would obviously be Nigel, and therefore obviously behind him would be--

Sarah leaned forward, smiling mischievously. A deep gong started, the first bong of a clock. He hadn't even heard the countdown. Her expression recreated itself as tipsy, smiling widely with a sharp giggle. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss Alan's cheek.

He let her.

She flowed past him and he followed her motion, as she latched on to Jaden with another giggle, chirping something about how the prettiest detective owed her a dance. Jaden started to protest then noticed the onlookers. Became a perfect gentleman in an instant and escorted Sarah out to the floor. The detective's eyes remained locked on the two Kanes, the younger of which was looking somewhat suspiciously in Alan's direction. "Did she just kis--"

"Jaden's a woman."

Question and confirmation both, and Nigel froze before shrugging languidly. "It seemed easier to let you believe what you wanted. It's not like she cares."

"I--!" Alan had taken a step forward, then hesitated. The deep gongs of the continuing chimes resounded through his form. "I care."

Nigel blinked. "About Jaden? A shame really that she is spoken for--"

Alan grabbed Nigel's arm, tugged him closer. "About you, you idiot," he hissed out. "I thought you liked...." Pronouns escaped him, but it seemed not to matter. Nigel collapsed into laughter.

"That I liked Jaden? Of everything that is horrible in the world, that would likely be the punishment I would die from most. Jaden as a paramour... I can't even imagine." The man shook his head.

Alan stared. "...What about me?"

Again, the other blinked. "What about you, Alan?"

The clock struck its last chime, and Alan watched Nigel without looking away. "What about me... As someone you like." As a paramour, as someone precious and needed. "As someone you want to be with."

Nigel was struck off guard, and it was obvious. Alan knew him enough to see the movements inside his head, to see the careful mask set on for tonight start to slip. The charismatic man faltered, turned childlike. "What...."

Alan thought to kiss him. Thought to gain his answer through that. He was tempted, horribly tempted, but the look in Nigel's eyes stopped him. The insecurity mixed with fear. There would be nothing gained from such an act. Not like this.

Instead Alan touched his cheek. Softly and only for a moment. "Would you mind if I liked you, Nigel? If I wanted you."

"I don't--" Understand. The expression finished the sentence, and Alan understood enough for both of them. The emotions shown revealed more of the person who doubted others' affection, who feared and wanted it above all else, who would rather die than succumb to one who might leave. Alan knew all of this, and now it was all shown again. Only that and nothing more.

There was nothing in Nigel that would reject him.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jaden start to approach, wary and suspicious, and he saw Sarah spin the detective around, and pull the other into a kiss.

A message by any other name. He wouldn't waste it. But not in the way she likely thought.

Alan leaned forward, ran a hand through Nigel's hair and pulled him to him--held the other to him as he kissed Nigel's temple delicately. "It's fine," Alan murmured. "That's all I wanted to know. Don't worry about it."

All else could come later, if it came at all. Reciprocation and development, or even simply a first kiss. All Alan needed, past the point of his own understanding, was for Nigel to continue to accept him. Continue allowing him space by his side. He let Nigel go, and had the grace to look embarrassed as they parted.

He was looking to the side when Nigel spoke. Not looking for the man, or his irregular boss, or his strange friend. Alan was looking at the wall and nothing more; at the pillars that would make this whole place fall down without their support. He found the similarity comforting.

"...I don't mind," Nigel said quietly, something breaking in the sound. Alan's eyes darted to him, Nigel standing like a small child rather the adult he was supposed to be. Alan meant to form a question, to confirm further, but the sight stopped him. He reached out a hand, and was content when Nigel only touched his fingertips to Alan's palm.

"Okay," he said softly, watching. Continuing to watch. Nigel raised his eyes to him, hesitating, and Alan smiled as if to comfort. "Okay."

The girls made noise behind them, and their hands slipped away as if never connected. How long would it be before they joined again? Slipped into each other like clothes comfortably worn. A moment, a time, an eon, further and farther, less and more.

Alan found himself okay with not knowing.